Battling self-pity today.   It’s been a long time since this nasty beast has reared its head.  I am fully aware that today is the day that the nation, well the majority of my friends anyway, are gathered with family feasting and fellowshipping, loving and laughing; grateful to God for the good times.

Yesterday I made a dash to the local supercenter making sure we had the necessities for a day without shopping.  As I was about to exit the store, I saw an acquaintance with her daughter just home for Thanksgiving break from her first semester of college.  I was genuinely happy for them; I do not begrudge them this joy.

Wind whipped my hair as I stepped out in to the cold.  It had begun to snow.  Hard.  I placed my purchases into my van, put the cart back into the corral and entered my vehicle.  As the wipers rhythmically danced back and forth to the song playing on the radio, I backed out of my parking space traveling with caution to my next destination.  One more stop before I was safe at home.   Tears.  When I finally stopped it was safe to text to my daughter, “I miss you.”

Today is Thanksgiving Day.  For several years now this day has been spent quietly at home with no outside obligations.   This year,  I have two men who are working nights during the week, need to sleep during the day, and the need to work the holiday makes staying home the only option for us.   I do miss my daughter.   I have also taken a longing glance toward those who are gathering with family and friends.


In recent weeks I have become mindful of the gifts of grace He bestows everyday.  They are more than evident on days like today.  I choose to dwell on the gifts of grace and say, “Thank you, “ for gratitude glues us to God.  The heart cannot cling to the torment of self-pity while making a home for the One who is Other Than.  He who gives generously every good gift dwells where His people are blessing Him.

I continue counting the gifts.  Tears exchanged for joy.


husband safe after travel on icy roads

pajama day

day of no obligation

text of blessing from daughter

tears exchanged for joy

daughter’s pregnant belly pictures

husband and son sensitive to tears

baby quilt to work on

Savior’s help

gratitude glue

one-feeling dwelling heart

having empathy with those who are not giving thanks today

This entry was posted in Learning, walk with God. Bookmark the permalink.